Tu vivras à jamais dans mon coeur...

I was so lonely when I first came.
I hated the place,
I hated the work,
I hated the people,
I hate the country.
And I saw you,
White and furry,
"ferosh rather cute" with sharp bright eyes.

I don't remember how exactly since when
but I started feeding you,
therefore started our friendship,
a special bond that needs no common language to be made.

I still remember those fine summer days,
with flowers and grass and tree,
and the wind and the sun,
and you eating like there's no tomorrow next to me,
sometimes suddenly remember that you need to be adorable
in order to guarantee the next meals.

How much I miss it,
when you smoothly rubbed yourself around my feet,
leaving white furs all over my pants,
and meowed all the time ever since whenever you see me,
asking for croquets and pâtés.

Oh how can one forget,
the adorable you,
having your lazy nap in a nice warm afternoon,
with eyes closed tight,
and your chubby white body curled up
like a big white hairy ball right at the gate.

I will never forget that day,
the last day of October,
an extremely beautiful day,
with cool air, sun rays and the marvelous colour board of Autumn
when I knew that you were no longer there,
no longer sleeping lazily at the front gate,
no longer meowing asking for food,
no longer... no longer...

No longer loneliness.
No longer homeless nights, cold and wet, hungry and sad.

You were free,
though in the most painful way, but your soul can finally relax.
I believe in His Holiness,
I believe in Heaven.
Thus, as sad as I am and as many tears as I've shed,
I'm truly glad, knowing that you're happy and free up there,
with angels and saints, and spirits and souls.

I am sorry that in the last few weeks of your life, I tend to busy myself with things that shouldn't have occupied my life that much,
I am sorry that I indeed forgot about you a bit more often, thinking that you'd be fine as there were other nice people who also loved you just as much,
and
thank you,
for everything,
my little white cat.

I love you.

Adieu ma petite amie,
tu vivras à jamais dans mon coeur...

Please rest in peace,
and may God bless your soul.

Amen.

Le Voyage

Three years in a lifetime is like three seconds within a year.
Life is way longer than that.
I'm utterly grateful to be born a world traveler, an exciting life that many people are craving for.
Truly fascinating indeed, and also remain within, this constant depth of loneliness...

I am lonely.

This is the life that I chose. This is the decision that was made,
the path that was chosen to be taken.
I believe, you believe, we all believe that enduring these pains and sorrows will definitely lead us to happiness.
True.
And occasionally sad...

I keep on working, studying, exploring, trying to enjoy this life of a world traveler to the fullest,
partly just to cover this bleeding emptiness in my heart.

I wish to fall in love.

But the more I travel, more experience gained, more things observed, my insights of life are deepened.
All to make this heart closes itself more from others.

And even when I happened to fall in love,
I forbid myself for I'm wrapped with timid shyness and obsessed with a sad past of the heart.

But well, after all,
who can keep the rapid pace of such a world traveler, right?

Connection

In this summer heat,

the birds sing cheerfully,

the sun shines brightly,

and the people enjoy all of the above happily

here in the most-known romantic place in the world:

France.

I sit on the bus, looking up at the sky,

treasure every beauty that I find among nature

in this outskirt, far away from the urban life.

And once return, I let the air in, keep the sun out and lock myself up until duty calls.

Every day is the same.

I always stay in one place, do the same routine every day.

Everything is the same…

I seem immobile, but I am running away.

I avoid people, avoid getting more intimated with everyone except for 2,

I’ve been running and building the wall around me along the way.

That’s why my sleep is so deep these days.

For sleeping is the only ticket that allow me to travel out of this world for a short moment.

Oh le monde des rêves, tu es parfait!

Nothing could wake me up once I’m there.

But

I'm awake when my little phone vibrate silently in the depth of night

since I know that someone just sent me a message,

someone tried to reach me

and I'm still connected to this world.

I embrace those connections

for I yearn for a path that lead me out of this constant loneliness.

Outside, in the sky, summer is slowly lazing away...

C'est la vie! C'est l'amour!

At some points, I thought of life as a constant pain, a never-ending chain of sorrows and unfortunate events.

At many other points, I admit that life is actually very interesting, very nice, very bittersweet yet very worth living.

Since the creation of us Human, our ancestors, our great great super great grandfathers, father, brothers, friends, foes, lovers and ourselves have been striving to seek the meaning of life...

... and no one has ever succeeded

for Life can't be defined since everyone has their own Life

and for understanding one self is the most challenging task ever.

Life treats me terribly sometimes,

but still, I love my life

because it's wonderful to live

and to love

with all your heart.

Family,

Friends,

Trees,

Flowers,

Animals,

Water,

Sun,

Sky,

and even Strangers...

I love you!

Friendship

Some say love is forever,

I say friendships last eternal.

For love is a Rose full of thorns,

While friendship is a tender Violet.

One day...

The Rose will bloom into Happiness,

And the Violet will turn into You.

My dear friend...

Wings

Still wounded, but the little bird can't wait anymore.

She knows staying in a place, trying to tend her unexpected deep wound would not help at all!

It may hurt her a bit, but that doesn't mean she can't fly anymore.

She has to continue her journey, a journey that just only began.

I am a little bird.

With this pain, I will spread my wings wide, flying high to the sky, gliding with the wind, discovering new places, new people, new things...

Maybe there will be more pain as well, but that's how I learn.

The pain will gradually be faded, and my heart will rejoice again.

I will fly with those wings,

the wings of tomorrow...

Kiss Me Good Bye

Kiss Me Goodbye
Artist: Angela Aki
Composer: Nobuo Uematsu

You say my love is all you need
To see you through
But I know these words are not quite true

Here is the path you’re looking for
An open door
Leading the worlds you long to explore

Go, if you must move on alone
I’m gonna make it on my own

Kiss me good-bye, love’s memory
Follow your heart and find your destiny
Don’t shed a tear, for love’s mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

As time goes by I know you’ll see this of me
And I loved enough to let you go free

Go, I will give you wings to fly
Cast all your fears into the sky

Kiss me good-bye, love is mystery
All of my life, I’ll hold you close to me
Don’t shed a tear, for love’s mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

Kiss me good-bye, love’s memory
You put the dream in my reality