I am so sick. It's been over 2 weeks now since my mildest symptoms. Bluche hates me. I've been enjoying the last 19 years healthily 'til I came to this winter wonderland. I am even more acquainted with the school staff and the doctors more than my peers. Geez...
I've been thinking and keeping this inside for so long, but it's getting to a point that I can't help but blurt it out on my personal blog, not for the whole world to criticize and discuss but to organize this whole mess swirling together with my neuro (however you spell its plural noun...): I feel like I'm one of the few last ones of my generation who's still single. Of course I'm not comparing myself with thousands of millions of those nineteen-year-old people across the globe, but it still feels awkward when I look around: my high school bastards, my current colleagues; one of them even got engaged to be probably married next year!! Being the one who sees the cup half-full, I still can't insist wondering if there really is something which creates these little obstacles preventing me hand-in-hand with someone? Certainly I'm not desperate for a boyfriend, I'm just blaming my natural hormones that are pushing me to seek for the opposite sex: basic instinct. That was a pretty good excuse, right?
Right! I've been babbling again. I really need to turn in for now, dreaming and weaving my blending emotions and self-phylosophized ideas about this stupid but always been there question:
What is love?
The snow is still falling outside.
Yes, I am returning to that peaceful village of which name is not even on Swiss map. Yay!
I'm feeling damn bored and confused and bored. Did I mention "bored"?
Hey my perfect cousin, sorry for complaining so much about everything but I'm not as perfect as you are, and since the only things that can relieve me from this everlasting boredom are endless complaints, what else shall I do? Making this place full of alcoholics and party animals more amusing and livable? Since one-sided complaints won't harm any one's well-being, it's OK to revise them once in a while, isn't it?
Well things will turn out right for me at the end, as usual, as I know it should be. So be it!
Dad's advise of going to English-speaking countries to have an internship delight me. Hmph so it's not a matter of distance and finance, but an opportunity of learning and exploring. I sure got all those DNAs from him. =D
Everything will be all right! Everything will be all right!
And I'm never alone. I'm not the only one.
So everything will definitely be all right.
Cheers!!!
Today is 01.01.10. Finally another new year has come, the last one of the first decade of this century. So much has happened in 2009, more than I've ever recalled in my over 19 years of life: happy moments, unexpected and continuous unfortunate events, slapping truths, heart-breaking realization... For all those to occur in just a year seems too much. I was resentful at first, but gradually becoming more accepting and, indeed, grateful. I have changed a great deal. I'm not any more perfect than the old me, but one thing for sure: I've grown. My immature, limited ways of thinking has been replaced by that wiser insight of a more thoughtful mind. I learned how to care more about the ones I love from even trivial matters, I think further away in case the worst circumstances appear, I live unselfishly but never forget about myself. I speak the truth and not afraid of them...
Another year. Probably another me. Who knows? We never know! Only Him who decides it all knows. That's what makes life interesting. May 2010 be way better and happier than 2009 and may love be spread wider all over the world and deeper inside every heart.
Happy New Year everyone!
