I've been thinking and keeping this inside for so long, but it's getting to a point that I can't help but blurt it out on my personal blog, not for the whole world to criticize and discuss but to organize this whole mess swirling together with my neuro (however you spell its plural noun...): I feel like I'm one of the few last ones of my generation who's still single. Of course I'm not comparing myself with thousands of millions of those nineteen-year-old people across the globe, but it still feels awkward when I look around: my high school bastards, my current colleagues; one of them even got engaged to be probably married next year!! Being the one who sees the cup half-full, I still can't insist wondering if there really is something which creates these little obstacles preventing me hand-in-hand with someone? Certainly I'm not desperate for a boyfriend, I'm just blaming my natural hormones that are pushing me to seek for the opposite sex: basic instinct. That was a pretty good excuse, right?
Right! I've been babbling again. I really need to turn in for now, dreaming and weaving my blending emotions and self-phylosophized ideas about this stupid but always been there question:
What is love?
The snow is still falling outside.
I see you are doing lots of soul-searching. Take whatever I say with a big grain of salt. I have lots of questions in my mind, and not so many answers, but here is one thought. It has occurred to me lately that the definition of "love" we feel so pressured to find has a lot to do with commercial influences. Valentine's day, anniversaries, birthdays - I think these have been built up by the business world, and have become confused in our minds with genuine friendship based on common interests, having fun together, and caring for each other, and not so much on gift giving and spending money. I hope you are feeling better by now, and that you find peace in your heart. I love your picture of the rose.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Carol! Such simple things that I couldn't realize, life needs such simplicity and honesty like that. And I found that picture on a website, my photo skills can't be compared to yours. ;)
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