Unbreathable

I think I start having more signs of falling into a depression.

That was a wrong call.

Deadly wrong.

I'm so mentally upset now.

Tears keep falling down.

I can't stop them.

It's so hard to breathe here.

Someone,

Please,

God Almighty,

Please save me...

I can't bear these pressure anymore,

I cry almost everyday now.

I'm so lonely,

so lonely.

Even when I talk to people,

all they tell me and make me feel was

I haven't done enough,

that I should do more.

All I need,

All I need right now is simply a hug.

Just a hug.

A tight hug

to tell me that

everything's gonna be alright

that I'll be strong enough.

Strong enough...

I'm losing it now,

I really start losing it now...

Oh my Lord,

Please save me...

 

Dandelions

Winter melts, Spring swells

Dandelions seeds start to leave their mothers 

en route to discover their new lives

Just like us students.

Student,

How nostalgia it will sound.

Innocent and wild, freedom was ours,

 Youth.

Azure sky, Green fields,

Blue mountains, White snow.

A hug, a smile, a blink, a missing heartbeat.

So unpredictable, youth.

Youth,

The prime of our time,

The beginning of all beginnings,

The beginning of our lives.

Just like dandelions, we'll fly

Far, far away, to the unknown

Unknown to our minds, unknown to our knowledge

but never unknown to our hearts

because that is where we belong:

Adventures.

A Short Message from my Heart

I am 21 years, 10 months and 5 days old.

I chose Gastronomy instead of Architecture and Building Management because I was scared to risk.

I chose Finance, which is even more dry than the freezing Alps winter instead of Hotel Design and Project Management because I was afraid to follow my heart.

On top of that, I am definitely, completely and truly in love with someone for the first time in my life; someone that already tactfully answered my never-ending confession letter of "I like you" with a short text message of "I have always seen you as my best friend." just a few months ago.

In time of desperation like this, I can only rely on my faith in the Lord my beloved Father.

May you protect my heart and teach me to be strong,

as I know life will not be an easy path,

but once overcome, it is indeed a splendid one.

Amen.

Dreams

O my delicate dreams, my fragile dreams,

Softly and tenderly, you hold me within,
As I am searching and running inside that realm of fantasy.

With my arms wide open, I am reaching out to that person,
Someone whose existence is yet to be known.

I am calling out his name, looking for him,
Even though he is standing there, right before my very eyes,
I still cannot touch him, for he is so transparent.

I do not know him, nor his face;
The only thing I remember is his strong and determined figure,
in which I find my trust and protection.

One day, I will find him,
Not within the world of everlasting dreams,
But in real life, where hands will be held and hugs will be given,
And that day will be the most beautiful day of my life.

A Thousand Years

A Thousand Years

Heart beats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

Les amis.
Les blagues.
La tarte au chocolat.
Le quiche valaisan.
L'hotel de Trois Couronnes.
L'école de Glion.
L'Atlas
et un jour absolutement magnifique!

And how else can I end such a perfect day, if not listening to this ethereal stream of sound?

This beautiful song has stuck in my head for a few days now, since I discovered it by chance on Youtube.

Such a beautiful piece!

Simply lyrics, dreamy and heartfelt melodies, indeed one of the most beautiful love song I've ever heard.

One can easily feel the deep love in this song.

I also found innocence.

Innocence, or was it naivety?

I can achieve so many things as long as I put my heart and energy into it,

but I've always been an inexperienced 10-year-old when it comes to relationship. Oh wait, maybe 10-years-old these day are even better than me!

Oh well, it doesn't matter after all.

I don't mind being a little girl at heart,

for I believe there's someone out there who's seeking for that pure piece of mine.

And then one day, I'll sing this sweet song to him

with the voice of my heart.

Bubbles

Bubbles,

Transparent and fragile,

Flying towards the sky and transform into stars.

Bubbles,

Round and complete,

Like everlasting dreams that foretell my wish.

One day, I will blow the bubbles again,

And this time they will all form the shape of my heart

with love.

Hands

One, two, three, four, five
Your fingers and also mine
Are intertwining.

Rainbow

Monochrome,

Plain and monotonous,
Drifting, flowing, wandering...
And then you step into my life,
Colouring, inspiring, adoring,
Radiant and vibrant,
Rainbow.

It's funny!

Hey, do you think that life is funny?

We're always online, in front of the computer for hours, stick to that tiny phone

trying to "keep in touch" with our dearies on the other half of the globe

while ignoring those that are actually there around us;

and when, again, we have to bid farewell to those whose physical existence have been there for ages

we start forming and bonding our connection with them through the virtual gates.

Nothing is short-distance.

Everything seems to have more meaning if it's "online".

Will our hearts be replaced with complicated microchip systems in the future as well?

What a funny world...

Le Jour de L'amour

Ah oui, c'est Valentin en fin! Joyeux anniversaire maman!! T'es tousjours la personne qui j'aime le plus!! Je t'aime vraiment serieusement franchement beaucoup!!!! J'espere que tu vas toujours etre heureuse et contente!

Valentine's Day.

As usual, I go around spreading pieces of chocolate imprinted with images of Switzerland on their papers like Santa Claus doing his X-mas duty. Everyone was happy and surprised. Now that's MY Valentine's present: to give and feel the love of it.

But somehow at the end of the day, there was this tint of melancholy gently swimming deep within the bottom of my heart.

I was about to cry. But hold on, strong girls don't cry, and I know I'm strong. So forget about that cheesy act.

Now left all alone in my new comfy room, I wonder

when will I find that empty piece to fill my heart?

Anyway...

May love stay within everyone's heart always...

Tu vivras à jamais dans mon coeur...

I was so lonely when I first came.
I hated the place,
I hated the work,
I hated the people,
I hate the country.
And I saw you,
White and furry,
"ferosh rather cute" with sharp bright eyes.

I don't remember how exactly since when
but I started feeding you,
therefore started our friendship,
a special bond that needs no common language to be made.

I still remember those fine summer days,
with flowers and grass and tree,
and the wind and the sun,
and you eating like there's no tomorrow next to me,
sometimes suddenly remember that you need to be adorable
in order to guarantee the next meals.

How much I miss it,
when you smoothly rubbed yourself around my feet,
leaving white furs all over my pants,
and meowed all the time ever since whenever you see me,
asking for croquets and pâtés.

Oh how can one forget,
the adorable you,
having your lazy nap in a nice warm afternoon,
with eyes closed tight,
and your chubby white body curled up
like a big white hairy ball right at the gate.

I will never forget that day,
the last day of October,
an extremely beautiful day,
with cool air, sun rays and the marvelous colour board of Autumn
when I knew that you were no longer there,
no longer sleeping lazily at the front gate,
no longer meowing asking for food,
no longer... no longer...

No longer loneliness.
No longer homeless nights, cold and wet, hungry and sad.

You were free,
though in the most painful way, but your soul can finally relax.
I believe in His Holiness,
I believe in Heaven.
Thus, as sad as I am and as many tears as I've shed,
I'm truly glad, knowing that you're happy and free up there,
with angels and saints, and spirits and souls.

I am sorry that in the last few weeks of your life, I tend to busy myself with things that shouldn't have occupied my life that much,
I am sorry that I indeed forgot about you a bit more often, thinking that you'd be fine as there were other nice people who also loved you just as much,
and
thank you,
for everything,
my little white cat.

I love you.

Adieu ma petite amie,
tu vivras à jamais dans mon coeur...

Please rest in peace,
and may God bless your soul.

Amen.

Le Voyage

Three years in a lifetime is like three seconds within a year.
Life is way longer than that.
I'm utterly grateful to be born a world traveler, an exciting life that many people are craving for.
Truly fascinating indeed, and also remain within, this constant depth of loneliness...

I am lonely.

This is the life that I chose. This is the decision that was made,
the path that was chosen to be taken.
I believe, you believe, we all believe that enduring these pains and sorrows will definitely lead us to happiness.
True.
And occasionally sad...

I keep on working, studying, exploring, trying to enjoy this life of a world traveler to the fullest,
partly just to cover this bleeding emptiness in my heart.

I wish to fall in love.

But the more I travel, more experience gained, more things observed, my insights of life are deepened.
All to make this heart closes itself more from others.

And even when I happened to fall in love,
I forbid myself for I'm wrapped with timid shyness and obsessed with a sad past of the heart.

But well, after all,
who can keep the rapid pace of such a world traveler, right?

Connection

In this summer heat,

the birds sing cheerfully,

the sun shines brightly,

and the people enjoy all of the above happily

here in the most-known romantic place in the world:

France.

I sit on the bus, looking up at the sky,

treasure every beauty that I find among nature

in this outskirt, far away from the urban life.

And once return, I let the air in, keep the sun out and lock myself up until duty calls.

Every day is the same.

I always stay in one place, do the same routine every day.

Everything is the same…

I seem immobile, but I am running away.

I avoid people, avoid getting more intimated with everyone except for 2,

I’ve been running and building the wall around me along the way.

That’s why my sleep is so deep these days.

For sleeping is the only ticket that allow me to travel out of this world for a short moment.

Oh le monde des rêves, tu es parfait!

Nothing could wake me up once I’m there.

But

I'm awake when my little phone vibrate silently in the depth of night

since I know that someone just sent me a message,

someone tried to reach me

and I'm still connected to this world.

I embrace those connections

for I yearn for a path that lead me out of this constant loneliness.

Outside, in the sky, summer is slowly lazing away...

C'est la vie! C'est l'amour!

At some points, I thought of life as a constant pain, a never-ending chain of sorrows and unfortunate events.

At many other points, I admit that life is actually very interesting, very nice, very bittersweet yet very worth living.

Since the creation of us Human, our ancestors, our great great super great grandfathers, father, brothers, friends, foes, lovers and ourselves have been striving to seek the meaning of life...

... and no one has ever succeeded

for Life can't be defined since everyone has their own Life

and for understanding one self is the most challenging task ever.

Life treats me terribly sometimes,

but still, I love my life

because it's wonderful to live

and to love

with all your heart.

Family,

Friends,

Trees,

Flowers,

Animals,

Water,

Sun,

Sky,

and even Strangers...

I love you!

Friendship

Some say love is forever,

I say friendships last eternal.

For love is a Rose full of thorns,

While friendship is a tender Violet.

One day...

The Rose will bloom into Happiness,

And the Violet will turn into You.

My dear friend...

Wings

Still wounded, but the little bird can't wait anymore.

She knows staying in a place, trying to tend her unexpected deep wound would not help at all!

It may hurt her a bit, but that doesn't mean she can't fly anymore.

She has to continue her journey, a journey that just only began.

I am a little bird.

With this pain, I will spread my wings wide, flying high to the sky, gliding with the wind, discovering new places, new people, new things...

Maybe there will be more pain as well, but that's how I learn.

The pain will gradually be faded, and my heart will rejoice again.

I will fly with those wings,

the wings of tomorrow...

Kiss Me Good Bye

Kiss Me Goodbye
Artist: Angela Aki
Composer: Nobuo Uematsu

You say my love is all you need
To see you through
But I know these words are not quite true

Here is the path you’re looking for
An open door
Leading the worlds you long to explore

Go, if you must move on alone
I’m gonna make it on my own

Kiss me good-bye, love’s memory
Follow your heart and find your destiny
Don’t shed a tear, for love’s mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

As time goes by I know you’ll see this of me
And I loved enough to let you go free

Go, I will give you wings to fly
Cast all your fears into the sky

Kiss me good-bye, love is mystery
All of my life, I’ll hold you close to me
Don’t shed a tear, for love’s mortality
For you put the dream in my reality

Kiss me good-bye, love’s memory
You put the dream in my reality

Eyes On Me

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?
Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I want to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I love your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then I will know
that you are no dreamer

Eyes On Me

A Prayer From An Angry Heart

Poor little creatures

who do not know the art of communication,

the beauty of respect,

and the nobleness of being tactful,

may God bless your sorry souls,

for being loved by others is such a challenge in your petite life.

And may Him gift me with such forgiveness,

since to err is human,

to forgive, divine...

Amen.

Snow

The Snow is falling,

and so am I.

But Snow falls on the ground

and melt into the Earth.

I fall in love

and melt into You.